Sunday, January 31, 2010

Powerful Teaching on Forgiveness by Quado.

This is from a spirit being named Quado. This was from 2003 and is one of my favorite teachings in the entire world. I hope you enjoy it as I have. I certainly could relate to the question that was put forth.

Today's message is in answer to a reader's question. The question is: Is forgiving someone also forgetting what has hurt us? I try, during meditation and other times, to accept and let go of the past. At times I have felt that I've forgiven this person, but then a word, a situation I cannot forget creeps in and invariably I dissolve in tears of sadness. I have spent 5 months now trying to free myself from resentment.

Quado, do you have an answer to this question?

Yes, yes, of course.

Forgiveness is a very difficult concept for most people, because most are so tangled up in their process of expectation, anticipation and subsequent disappointment. Someone has promised you something, some type of happiness, perhaps from love, perhaps in some other way. And you have pinned your hopes on this. You have built a mental future around this hope, this ideal situation which is going to deliver you from the pain of your past, the pain of being who you have been all of these years.

And this, this person fails to deliver. They may even go so far as to betray you. They may turn away and leave you. They may even go out of their way to do something hurtful to you, as inexplicable as this seems. And now the person on whom you have placed your trust, the person who was going to give you great gifts of happiness and joy, is an enemy, a betrayer, someone who has not only greatly disappointed you in this instance but who may have shattered your faith in humankind and your ability to trust.

In this scenario, it seems very difficult indeed to forgive. But look for a moment at what has set up this situation. Look at what you were hoping to get from them and the fact that, indeed, they do not have the responsibility to deliver happiness to you. No, not even your parents or caregivers as a child [had that responsibility]. It is unfortunate if they betrayed the trust of a child, but when you look back, you may see that they were doing the best they could, being who they were and the circumstances under which they labored.

But as an adult, truly, you must begin with not setting these expectations upon other people. You must learn to take responsibility for your own happiness and realize that what may appear to you to be a promise, a deal in which you are saying that you will give this and that in exchange for your happiness, may not be viewed in the same way at all by them. They may not see the deal in this way and may be formulating their own deal, whereby you are expected to give them happiness in exchange for something else. And perhaps the two of you have simply missed the mark, each trying to get something from the relationship that the other did not have to give. And in their own anger and disappointment, they have hurt you badly.

Suppose instead that you were to approach relationships from a place of internal peace. You are who you are and are comfortable in being centered there. You know yourself and know what you can count on yourself to do. You are deeply peaceful within your self, and know that the joy of life can flood down into you at your command, and bring you the peace you desire. You know and accept that no one else is going to bring you this deep internal peace and connection. You accept that other people are focused primary upon themselves, and that this is OK. You accept also that there will be people with whom you can walk on your path for a time, and if you are fortunate, you will be able to bring each other moments of happiness and joy.

But you know that this may also be a temporary thing, as all things are temporary, for life is change and nothing remains the same. And importantly, you know that there is no state of perfect happiness to be attained, there is no place you can reach where you finally say, "Ah, that's it. Now, because I have enough money and someone who loves me, I can finally rest and relax." No there is no such state, and certainly not because of love and money. That state is now or not at all.

You can relax right now, with this amount of money and with no one to love you except yourself. You can stop right now in this moment, look up at the sky and feel the connection you have with the entire universe, and let the love and joy and peace of that connection flood into you. You can do this now and in the next moment and in the next. But you cannot do it in the future, based upon having attained some state, and especially not a state which relies upon someone else to supply some piece of the puzzle, some ingredient.

And so, you are deeply disappointed, and you are full of resentment. You gave and didn't get. You made a bargain and it was not kept. You must let go of that bargain and accept responsibility for having done a possibly foolish thing. You must accept responsibility for having built up expectations in someone else and then having suffered the inevitable disappointment. For no one else can possibly meet these bargains. No one else can possibly complete these silent deals you are making. It is not their responsibility to complete you or to make you happy. That is your job and yours alone.

Accept this, and you can finally begin to forgive. Accept this, and you can begin to see that you counted too much on someone else, perhaps that you gave away parts of yourself which were not even asked for.

Do not give yourself away and then try to get yourself back. Do not give and give and give and then become angry and resentful, because you are not receiving what you think you deserve in return.

Instead, hold yourself complete. Give what is appropriate to give. Give what you wish to give freely instead of making deals. Do not sacrifice and then expect it to be appreciated. If the sacrifice is too great, then do not make it. And if you wish to make it, accept responsibility for it, accept that you are giving what you are giving and that you have no right to expect anything in return. If it is your gift, then give it. Or it is not a gift, if it is a loan which you expect to be repaid, then make sure the other party understands this clearly, and consciously accepts this bargain. Otherwise, give and let go. Give and let go. Do not give and then try to get in return. It does not work.

Contemplate all of this. See if it helps you to understand where you have true responsibility. See if it helps you understand the level to which you are responsible for your own happiness: you and only you.

And then, turn your focus and attention into now. Make your life right now so full of adventure and vibrant energy, that there is no room in it for nurturing old resentments, for harboring an old grudge. If you are full of resentment, then you are not bringing enough new material into your life right now. There are new people to meet. There are new adventures to be had.

But how can you trust anyone again, you ask? Trust yourself. Trust yourself to make yourself happy. Let other people be the frosting, not the key ingredients of the cake. Build yourself up from the inside out. No one can disappoint you if you do not have any expectations of them, other than that they will be who they are, as they are. That is all anyone can be.

Right now, you can be happy; you can be full of peace, internal peace which connects deeply with all that is. Right now, you can pull down the loving energy of the universe and allow it to fill you. Right now, you can accept yourself just as you are, and accept everyone else as they are. Right now, you can allow life to be, to unfold in its own way. Right now, you can watch a blade of grass or an unfolding flower and be filled with the great glory of life. Right now, you can build up a core of integrity inside you, a core of deep internal peace that does not need external completion, a self which is so strong that it glows and warms the world.

Focus in this moment. Focus here. Focus on your own internal truth. Stop your patterns of expectation and disappointment. Accept all that is just as it is, including yourself. And be patient with yourself as you unlearn old ways and take on new approaches. Be patient and loving and accepting, letting life unfold in its own pace. Right now, you are as you are and it is good. In the next moment, you will be a little different and that will be good too. Let it all flow gently and lovingly in this way. Allow yourself the time and grace to become.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Friendship, love & boundaries

I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting I will not leave. ~ Taken from a vow renewal ceremony

I have been faced recently with some dear friends and family members that have been going through very difficult challenges in their lives. As a counselor, it is my nature to help and as a friend it is my nature to care. As an empath, it has sometimes been difficult to tolerate the negative emotional and physical energetic that surrounds these folks.

I have pondered this and realized there seem to be two types of individuals in this regard. There are those that ARE in pain but doing their best to be awake and to walk through it as effectively as possible. They give a shout out when they need it and are pull in when they need to be quiet. In other words, they are doing their best to take care of their needs and be responsible about their own situation. They talk to me about their "stuff" but do not look to me to fix or solve it for them. They usually do the best and move through their challenges the quickest and with the most grace I have found.

The second type of folks talk about their situation incessantly but if I offer any type of suggestion to them about how to correct it they get evasive or angry at me. They are "stuck" but they do not seem to take any steps to move forward. Every misfortune that comes their way pushes them further into victimhood and a "why me?" mentality. Their problems become an addiction or crutch, similar to alcohol or a drug. It clouds their reality on many levels, obscuring the good that is present in their lives. At times I have found that while people are in such a negative spiral I have had to keep a physical distance from them, while still including them in my daily prayer and dedication work.

I found that when I would speak up to these folks about their negativity, I would feel slightly guilty, like perhaps I was adding "insult to injury" as they say. A wise friend recently told me that I was acting as a true friend by speaking my truth to them and alerting them to their behaviors. I was surprised that the person in question was able to hear me and really take in what I said. When we speak now she goes into much LESS negativity which is wonderful. It was a wonderful learning lesson that as I practiced self-love and kept healthy boundaries for myself, it opened the space for others to do the same. Like the quote at the beginning of this piece, I still held a place of love for them and did not abandon them and viola! More miracles.

Bright Blessings to you today fine readers.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Rumi & the precious healing mixture.

"You already have the precious mixture that will make you well. Use it!" ~ Rumi

I love this quote by Rumi and the past few days I have given it some deep thought. What is this precious mixture for healing and how do I access it? I have been dealing with a health issue since 2008 and have made great strides, but still do have pain flare-ups from time to time and am not completely out of the woods with it.

I realized that often when we are dealing with an illness or an injury there is an tendency to be angry with the body and even reject it on some level. It isn't working right, how dare it! Right? :)

I also realized that there can also be considerable fear and doubt present with thoughts like, "What if I don't get well?" I noticed that when I was on vacation, engrossed in an project or having fun with friends, I was in considerably LESS pain. My mind was focused on something else and the intelligence of my body was freed up to do what it does naturally!

I remembered many years ago when I injured my back in a serious car accident and how I made what the doctor's considered a "miraculous" recovery. I focused on the area every day in my mind's eye and sent it love and light. I just KNEW with all of my being that I would recover, and I did!

So my fine readers, what is the precious mixture Rumi speaks about? I think it is a fine concoction of: faith, patience, humor, forgiveness and most importantly self-love.

May we all be well.
May we all be at peace.
May we all be filled with loving-kindness.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Haiti & the earth changes.

Like many of us, I was disheartened to hear of the recent large earthquake in Haiti. I took this issue to Guidance and this what I received.

These movements of earth serve several purposes, they are an outbreath on the planet. They are not meant to be a punishment in any way, as some might perceive. They also serve to bring attention to these parts of the planet that are often impoverished on some level i.e. economically, politically, morally or all of the above. There is a dance of balance that is taking place. Mother earth seeks balance in her ecology, her energies and her life. The polarity of high/low, light/dark has been too great.

In this outpouring of great love that is currently occurring, there is tremendous spiritual support. Those embodied can utilize these energies at this time for their growth and help for their brothers and sisters. Ask to make yourselves useful, to be of service. There is great love here for you. The time to become creators yourselves is at hand. These situations are meant to draw your attention, not to create more fear, but awareness. Also, to dispel the illusion of separation between peoples. If this happened in your own town you would not hesitate to act. The concept of ONE WORLD is emerging, not as some far away concept, but has a reality. You are the ones to make this happen. We leave you today in peace.
Aum. Namaste.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

2012 (part two)

To be able to kill one’s “enemy” in battle one of the ultimate illusions on your planet. To kill in this way is no different than killing your own child, flesh of your flesh. It has been said many times, in truth there is only ONE. To believe in separation based on ethnicity, religion or any other “ism” is insanity, delusion and in many cases, evil.

I asked about how to deal with those in power that would propagate an agenda of war such as what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan. They showed me a large energetic field in the cosmos and demonstrated how we all are part of that creative force acting as little creators in our own right. They said, these places are your earth, are very dark and backward in their thinking and customs. We liken it to what your Christ said, “The poor have always been among you.” There is a wave that has begun and it is building in momentum. How can you help your brothers in war-torn areas? Work on YOURSELF first and hold them in your highest thoughts of peace, compassion and love.

Regarding prophesies of upcoming destruction, we tell you this, many of you have been clearing your karmas and preparing your bodies and minds for the increase of Light on your planet. Why would you prepare yourselves just to be destroyed? Think about it logically, it does not make sense. The Lightworkers have been prepared to assist and to serve, they are needed here and their jobs are just beginning! Even some so-called spiritual thinkers are showing a profound lack of faith. Yes, as a planet and people you must change your ways and that is already happening. There are those that liken your planet to an old junker car sitting in someone’s front yard,just collecting rust. There is a “why bother?” mentality to that. The thought that the earth is already so damaged and so fractured, that to destroy her might actually be a good thing. You have come to this place for a reason and this planet is your home. There are those that could come along with paint, new tires and a skilled mechanic and could take that junker and make her into something useful and beautiful once again. This is the task at hand. We leave you today with peace unending. Aum. Namaste.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Thoughts on the Authentic Self.

I was pondering Sarah Bierman's ideas this morning and took that into my meditation. I got that when we are in Authentic Self, it is always a soulful place of expansion, joy and light. There is an ease to our movements and communications with others. Her thoughts about NOT being able to spend time with those folks that diminish our authenticity really hit home with me. This past year I spent much more time in solitude and declined many social invitations. I just wasn't "feeling it" as they say.

When we lower our vibration to make others more comfortable and to "not make waves" we actually create MORE in the long run. Doing this diminishes ourselves and plays into old, dysfunctional programming and fear. It empowers falsehood and denies the truth in ourselves and others. To be in our Authentic Self is to invite others to do the same. It creates what Guidance has referred to as the "dominant vibration." Dominant not in an overbearing sort of way, but a higher note so to speak, using a tone scale. As one who spent many years "putting my light under a bushel," it feels so good just to stop! I realize a lot of it has to do with the opinions of others and we all know what they say about opinions! How important are people's opinions of us anyway? Thank goodness we are developing to a point as a people where it can be understood that if someone is angry or excessively judgmental regarding us, these negative emotions were not created by us and we are merely serving as a catalyst for their transformation. It is up to that person whether or not they own it, clear it and heal it.

This year will be a very interesting case study to put this type of work into action. These are interesting times indeed and we are so blessed to be here and to have each others friendship and love for support.

Bright blessings to you all.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Talking back to 2012. ~ (Part one)

There has been a lot of information out there regarding 2012, some good, some bad and some that is just plain ridiculous. Don't even get me started on that big-budget Hollywood film that recently came out! Sitting with Guidance on New Year's Day 2010, what came through was interesting to me. I hope that you all enjoy it and that the coming year brings all of your heart's desires to fruition for you.

Humanity’s job now is to prepare your hearts and vessel bodies for the Christ/Light. There will be a “return” as the prophets have said, but it will be an “inside job” so to speak. We shy away from the term Christ as there has been baggage associated with this word over the years, but we are referring to the one Solar SUN/SON of what is known to be God/Source Energy. The Source energy is so vast that the SUN/SON gives it a focal point of reference to specialize this energy so that it can be more widely and wisely used.

Yes, the doomdayers operate off and from a place of fear and also disempowerment. Since you are not only made in the image of the creator, you ARE creators yourselves, then there is no point whatsoever in accepting destruction as your future reality. There is enough mind, muscle, heart and spirit power to eradicate hunger from the face of the planet if only these powers would be unified, working together for a common goal.

There does not have to be a “fight” between Spirit and ego, not as previously dealt with in earlier times such as when ACIM (A Course in Miracles) was first given for your use. The planet and its people have grown in leaps and bounds since then. There will always be those among you, that have seemingly lost their way and that walk the path of least resistance. Do not judge or curse them for they have their karmas, their journeys. Now is the time to take a position of detached strength, an organized light force, so to speak. Many of the lightworkers have been doing deep, individual, inner work and the fruits of these efforts are now being shown. In as sense there is a battle before you, but it is not what it might appear to be. The battle will be won with love and non-resistance, but also with focused intention. In the coming months there will be another strong influx of the light energies, which may be temporarily disorienting for some. Continue to support these beings in body, mind and spirit through healthy diet, grounding and emotional care.

Part of what is creating the doubt and fear is the history of planet earth. There has been much death, suffering and war upon this planet for thousands of years. It is reflected in the history books, documentaries and in your thoughts. It has been passed down to the children. We say to you, study your wars no longer. Release a belief in war as a necessary evil. Evil is evil, period. The time for suffering of this kind will soon be over, if enough beings choose it.

Aum. Namaste. Peace.

~ End of Part one.