Saturday, February 19, 2011

Three Big Reasons why your life isn't happy, (and what you can do about it!)

Hello readers, I hope this finds you well. I hope also that I've grabbed you a bit by my catchy title! This came to me in a bit of daydream today, but writing it down more coherently it seems to make more sense and I hope you enjoy.

Reason #1 - I have no spouse/GF or BF.

Most people long for companionship of some type this is true, but your life is not over if you do not ever get married or find a mate. Also corny but true, it is often when we quit "looking" that the right person shows up for us. Do you want to keep finding fractured people in a quest to "complete" yourself? Best to complete yourself FIRST then magnetize someone in from that space. That is an entirely different experience! You really CAN be happy in your single-dom and like many married people will tell you, enjoy it while you can. Every choice we make then rules out all of the others; in the sense that you cannot be single while married and vice versa. Make it a point to ENJOY your life, single, married, divorced or whatever! You are not your marital status despite what your mother, best friend or nosy aunt tells you.

You are enough. You do not need anyone or anything to "complete" you. Breathe that and drink it in. It's where you are going and where everyone is headed, in time. ~ The Keepers, from 11/18/10

Reason #2 - I'm not successful enough.

This is a big one! It's certainly fine to have ambition and want a better life for ourselves, no problem there. What is a problem is when you are so obsessed with what you don't have it erodes the pleasure of what you DO have. According to laws of magnetism this will also lower your vibration and actually prevent more abundance flowing to you. Our thoughts are very powerful and what we constantly think about we will become. Thinking about the deficits in our lives can contribute to create more, not a smart way to go. Also when other people are successful to be happy for them and wish them well. Envy is a negative emotion that does not serve you in any way. If you can't really do it, fake it 'til you make it! Wouldn't you want to wish yourself well? That might make it easier. Remember also that just as we are not our marital status, we are also not our job title or bank account either.

Reason #3 - I am unlucky. Maybe I was just born under a bad sign?

Personally I don't really believe in luck as some external force we have no control over. Ever notice how some people start winning things and they start to win more and more. It's the same thing for the losers. Just as a positive emotional and spiritual state can build upon itself, so can a negative one. There are no "bad" signs in astrology by the way, the all have a yin/yang, shadow and light sides. I've also noticed that people that seem to be stuck in ruts are very self-focused and in many cases do not do much to serve others. Of course there are exceptions to this, but I am talking about the norm. Generosity of Spirit according to our Buddhist friends is a great virtue. Consider this quote by Santideva, "The perfection of generosity is said to be, the thought to give all beings everything, together with the fruit of such a thought."

One pretty quick way to turn around your "luck" is to serve others in any way that you can. It will also get the focus off of you and your problems and if you are down in a rut believe me, it will serve you well to think about something else! You might be surprised what a bit of volunteering or just helping someone out can do to lift your spirit. That might be just the kick start that you need to your current state of being completely around. When we are too self-focused we become like a hamster on a wheel, on a road to nowhere. A solid meditation practice is also an excellent remedy and throws our self-cherishing mind a bone to go chew on for a little while!

You can be happy with too much weight, not enough money, no significant other or any other condition of mind. We invite you to seek the source of joy that has no condition and is unchanging. Whatever your individual journey is, you may radiate love and goodness which will transform the world, and in the process will transform you. ~ The Keepers, from 10/27/10

Wishing you all peace and blessings in these powerful times.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Can I get an Alien now?

Foreword: Yep, with this post, a foreword is definitely necessary! Below is a series of three separate perspectives on the same experience. Mine (Dawn), and those of my two dear friends, Lisa and Irma Kaye. We all hope that you’ll all take time to read through all three sections, even though it does make for a lengthy post. The whole experience makes perfect sense if you do take the time to read each separate section, through to the end.

We can guarantee you’ll get a chuckle or two and perhaps a new fun word to toss out in conversation! We all three hope that you’ll take time to visit our respective blogs, and to that end, we have posted hyperlinks/links back to each of our blog pages. You’ll find the links at the end of each section, next to our byline. ~ Dawn, Lisa & Irma Kaye

You know how friendship works.  If you're very fortunate, you meet people along your life path and click instantly with them.  Your heart remembers them immediately and the connection starts right back up where it left off in the mists of time.  Simple enjoyment of one another exists.  In short order, you lose sight of when you actually met, because you feel that you've known them forever.  Quickly thereafter, Secret Code begins to happen.
Secret Code, you ask?  Yes.  I'm sure you've experienced it.  It is a short-hand language of sorts, cobbled together from a variety of experiences.  They're usually loaded with hilarity, prompted by absurdity and become that Insider Lingo between you...a quick reference that only the two of you, or the group of you, understand.
If any of you are connected to me via Facebook, you may have noticed some Secret Code being slung around here and there.  One of them has grown into a life of its own, so much so that those of us involved in the genesis of it think it should be shared. 
Several months back, Lisa B. and I were commenting in a Facebook thread on Irma Kaye S.'s wall.  I honestly don't recall what the focus of that thread was.  It was late at night and I was sleep deprived.  As a result, I glanced at a comment that Irma Kaye had made and I read it wrong - when I'm very fatigued, dyslexia will creep in and I will transpose letters/words, or I'll just see the whole sentence in a completely wrong manner.  Irma Kaye's comment ended with, "Can I get an amen on that?"
I, however, read it as, "Can I get an alien on that?"
In my head, I'm automatically thinking, "An ALIEN?  Why would she want an alien?  How odd is THAT?  WHO in their right mind would ask for such a thing....  OH.  Wait, she said 'amen'.  Not 'alien'." 
In my sleep deprived state, this struck me as too funny to keep to myself, so I typed all of the above in Irma Kaye's thread.  Lisa, being her endearing, lovely self took it to new heights of hilarity, running with a revival theme something along these lines:
"Can you get an alien, Dawnie?  You most certainly can! *raises hands to the Heavens to testify*. Alien NOW!"
Now, let me also share that Lisa and I have this ongoing game we play that we robbed from the cell phone "Can you hear me now?" commercials.
Lisa:  "Can you hear me now?  *waits 12 seconds*  How 'bout now?  Now?  No, wait...wait...NOW, now.  No, NOW!  Right?  NOW????"
Lisa and I play this game often, in Facebook posts, email and texting, because it makes us laugh.  She morphed that game into the new Alien Game.  The new short-hand, Secret Code of same is: "Can I get an Alien?"  And in reply, "Alien NOW!"
About two weeks ago, Irma Kaye and I were chatting in yet another Facebook thread and she cracked us both up with this:  "When we type (alien now) <--this is our 'inside alien voice'." 
Of course, I had to share this with Lisa.  Lisa, in turn, responded with:  "And 'Alien NOW' is the turning-cartwheels-down-the-hallway-shouting-it-to-the-rooftops broadcasting version!"
So, my friends, anytime you see me in a Facebook thread, or in Twitter, typing the words, "Alien", or "Alien NOW", or any future version of the word or phrase, you'll know some of the back story.  Perhaps you'll be chuckling along with us!  Maybe this whole post will have you wondering why you spent time clicking over here to read this, as it isn’t the norm for my posts.  Those who know me and my slightly off-center sense of humor will undoubtedly be smiling and laughing. 
Life is not always meant to be ponderous and serious, I think.  Indeed, Life is punctuated by those bright moments of hilarity, irreverence and sheer silliness between friends.  I'm blessed beyond belief with this strong network of Sister Friends - that family that we choose, as opposed to the family we're born into.  I managed to be doubly blessed that both my blood family and my heart family are populated with equally beautiful souls.  I look about me quite often and marvel at the richness of friendship and family that surrounds me, and the love that flows.  These people love me and accept me for who I am, quirks and all, and I offer the same acceptance towards them.  These little funnies add flair, nonsense, color, verve and pure fun to each encounter and lift the heart and spirit as a result.  I am a better person for having each of these special women in my life.

Eventually, I'm going to meet both these wonderful ladies in person and I'll have photographs to share. Lisa and I happen to be similar in complexion, which is of the ultra-fair variety. Milky pale skin is what we're talking about. Lisa claimed a while back that when we DO try to do pictures together, we'll probably break technology with our fairness...the digital camera eye will struggle so much to capture our images without a glare being thrown off our skin.  I fell out laughing on that one, and you can see why I love her so much. Zany humor makes life so much more enjoyable!
Lisa is going to add her side of the story to this post, and I look forward to reading her thoughts.  I'll close with a favorite quote that I feel defines this little story:
"You that would judge me, do not judge alone this book or that, come to this hallowed place where my friends' portraits hang and look thereon; Ireland's history in their lineaments trace; think where man's glory most begins and ends and say my glory was I had such friends." ~ William Butler Yeats

~ S. Dawn Sievers, Healing Morning blog

As the massively successful Paul Harvey used to say, “And now the rest of the story.” (at least my part)

I’ll never forget the night Alien came into being. I saw Dawnie’s comment and threw my head back laughing. I could hear her “voice” in the post, and Irma could too, and the teasing commenced! The next thing you knew three ladies separated by large amounts of geography were united in laughter, we were for that silly little comment thread not thinking of anything but giving each other joy and fun.

As Dawn pointed out, not everything in life needs to be a contemplative serious thing to teach us a lesson, and in the midst of that thread, we all learned that lesson again. Dawn’s life is a concentration of serious things being self employed and searching for the truths of this world and the next. Irma is her twin in those aspects, and me, well my exploration of grief and loss isn’t feather light either. In the midst of the “Alien” though, none of us were thinking about any of the weight or the distance, but were unified in laughter and light.

It is a lesson that stuck with us, obviously; we have developed our little secret code and have over the last couple months cheered each other with more “Aliens” and their new additions than I can count. It is our way to show each other solidarity, to say ‘I love you’, and to remind each other take a moment to smile (or giggle).

Being the contemplative ladies we are, though, and people who each in our own way hope, pray, and take actions to try to make the world better for us having been there…keeping it secret just wouldn’t do. Nope, not at all!

Joy is one of those things that if you keep what you have, you’ll only have as much as you have. If you give it away, then you have more, and the more joy you give, the more joy you have! Slowly, so not to make everyone think we’ve gone completely crazy, we have started telling the story and bringing new “alien” converts into the fold. That wasn’t enough either! So, we started the idea of a blog post about the experience!

I can’t speak for my sisters, but I know why I was inspired to share this little moment of joy. I wanted people to remember to look for their “Alien” moments. Now, if you want to hop in with us and Alien each other, I’m not going to be offended at all! In fact, I’m going to giggle and laugh with you, in the same unity I do now with Dawnie and Irma. But watching people find their own inside joke will fill me with so much joy, because like our moment it will bring you memories, sisters, brothers, and perhaps a little lighter heart than you had before.

~ Lisa Brandel, The Widow Lady blog

And finally:

So, now after reading Dawn and Lisa's brilliant telling of our "Alien" story, I think everyone is up to speed with the awesome silliness of our great inside joke. I treasure both of these women so much in my life and am grateful to the internet and Facebook for connecting me with both of them in the first place. Though we are placed at very different places on the US map and have had varied life experiences, that doesn't seem to matter. We are three peas in a pod, no doubt, and sometimes you just know. When I was reading their posts today, this quote popped into my mind:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis
How wonderful it has been to have met these extraordinary, brilliant and at times downright hilarious women. It's amazing the camaraderie, support and love that grew out of that snapshot in time, from a silly little inside joke. Can I get an Alien now? :)  

~ Irma Kaye Sawyer, The Bright Star Blog

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Could "Haters" be a blessing in disguise?

Hello dear readers,
I hope this finds you well. The word "hater" has become popular slang lately and denotes anyone that doesn't like you, is nasty to you and/or generally makes your life miserable! Most of us have experienced them at one point or another.

The Keepers had this to say on the topic today: Beloveds, on the topic of those that would be called "haters," in your lives we say this: indeed these people are confused as they are mistaking you for the negative emotions that they feel in your presence and may project them onto you. Many of you have what would be considered "catalytic" energies and can effect others in strong ways. Encounters of this nature can remain relatively neutral if you can remain in a strong center and not take others negativity and projections to heart. In all encounters it is wise to have the awareness of what the potential teaching is in it for you. What is going on with the other party is truly none of your business, at the most basic level. Indeed it is not likely that everyone will like you in your lifetime, but you can be a friend to all in a spirit of brother/sisterhood. ~ 2/16/11

This teaching really does hit so many levels doesn't it? We have been well-socialized and taught that it is highly desirable to be well-liked by everyone and to have enemies truly must be bad.

I have found in my own career my harshest critics and those that could even be called haters have taught me so much. In many cases, they have shown me the areas where I lacked clarity in my business and in my life and this caused me to get more focused and to do some serious analysis of areas where I needed to stronger and more integrated. Of course these types of interactions are often painful and never fun, but if we keep in mind that the person hating HAS been impacted by us even if it is negative in their eyes. We are acting as catalysts for change, even if that person (or us!)cannot see it yet. Haters are also bringing us a great gift of where our ego still is getting stuck. I always loved this great quote by Swamiji,"Just because some one calls you a donkey doesn't that mean you are one!" It is also another good opportunity to "check up" on the little hurts and false conceptions of ourselves that we are still holding onto.

It is important to stay out of a victim role or fall into a "pity party" if we find ourselves in encounters with negative or critical people. Also to remember that not every encounter is some high teaching for us. There are some people that will cross our path that are simply mean and looking for a fight. In ALL cases, it is important to not take attacks personally, even if they are meant to be. This is one of the best protective measures that we can take.

I have a hater in my own life of the most painful kind, my own sister. I still love her of course, but we have cut off all contact which was her choice initially, but now I have grown to see is for the best. Sadly, my sister is locked into an outdated view of me and us as children and is holding onto the ghost of past hurts, some of which are even imaginary. She has also shown scorn towards our mother, which has also been painful to witness. Through this separation from my sister, my mother has become much more emotionally resilient and even sought out psychotherapy which she stared at age 75. She has emerged a much more conscious and loving person in the process. If it weren't for my sisters painful "divorce" from my mother, I honestly believe there would have been no impetus for her to take that journey of healing and self-discovery. It has been amazing to see how my mother's spirit has flowered and how much more available to me and to others she has become. Our relationship is the best it has ever been.

My sister though she is definitely a hater, has gifted my mother with so many gifts of awareness and growth. I just realized that very recently. I haven't entirely figured out the gift of her being a hater in my own life, but I'm sure I will in time. Life is indeed such a gift and the possibilities for growth are endless.

Wishing you all many blessings in these transformational times.