Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Cosmic Weather - stars & vibes!

Hello friends,
Please check out our new,fun page at Facebook for all of your daily astro-cosmic needs!

Note: "Cosmic Weather" (c) is under copyright to Irma Kaye Sawyer. Thank you.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Don't shoot that thing at me! - A candid discussion of Psychic Attack

Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me. You know you got my sympathy, but don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me! ~ Violent Femmes/Add it up

Dear readers,
It has been quite a wonky week for me online. As I am working to heal myself of a wicked case of bronchitis brought on by my own vulnerability, I saw and heard about quite a few folks under fire from others recently.

So what exactly is a "psychic attack?" Keep in mind that psychic vampirism is something different, and that is not what we are discussing here. A psychic attack can be defined as being on the receiving end of negative, angry and/or violent thought forms being directed at you from another person.

There are several schools of thought on this subject and we will explore them all. One school of thought has the view that this is not possible as only LOVE is REAL. Ultimately this is true, but try telling that to a murderer on Death Row. There is that pesky manner of *levels* again, and while we are inhabiting 3D earth, sh*t definitely happens.

Being on the receiving end of negative energy is scary, period. We can get all high and mighty and start throwing around conjecture and mantras but that's hard to do if and when it is happening to you. If you are an empath or highly sensitive person, it could be even harder to cope. Keep in mind psychic attacks can also be subtle and can come in the form of snarky back-biting comments, judgment and criticism.

There is a tendency for people if they are on the receiving end of an attack to focus their attention on the party or parties up to the dirty business. That is a normal, egoic human tendency, but it's not the best strategy. To quote the wise Khensur Rinpoche, "You may ask yourself what did I do to deserve this?" The answer is: Plenty." This is not to create a further victim or bummer trip, but for us to be adults and take responsibility for what we are experiencing in the world. I see a tendency quite often especially in certain new age or spiritual communities, for people to want everyone else to own up to their issues, but often there is an unwillingness to look at any of theirs. Projection is so common that it has become relentless, we all do it to a certain extent. It's just a manner of how awake we are when it is happening. If we believe in a holographic view of reality, we are living within the context of our own HEAD, plain and simple. Yes it's true ultimately there is no "enemy" on the outside and until we heal the "war within," the war on the outside continues.

What do we do if we are on the receiving end of some nasty juju? Stop, breathe, pray, bless and FORGIVE. Forgive the misapprehension of our own ordinary mind that has created enemies for ourselves. Also bless and pray for our enemies, (just as Jesus Christ suggested.) Though this is a good idea it also ultimately is for our benefit spiritually and emotionally, and helps dissolve the toxic ties that may bind us to others through negativity.

The use of Violet Flame healing energy is an effective tool for neutralizing less-than-light energies along with use of prayers and mantras. The "Lord's Prayer" has been shown to be effective in situations of negative energy and there are also many others. The mantra Om Mani Padme Hum is considered the "King of mantras," and can have a powerful effect on negativity. Under no circumstances would it be advised to return negative energy for negative energy. This just creates a further "hamster wheel" karmic effect and is not recommended. Let The Universe take care of the karma, that is definitely not our job.

"We blame and criticize others because we don't like suffering. But if we don't like suffering, we should not harm others and create disharmony; this is what interferes with our happiness. What we want and what we are doing are opposite.

Of course, this doesn't mean one can't point out others' mistakes at all. But when you do, as much as possible do it with loving kindness and compassion. For the sake of others, one can point out mistakes and make suggestions—this is how you discuss and communicate according to Dharma. This way there is no danger for oneself; one doesn't create negative karma, which throws oneself over the precipice of the three lower realms. If you are being criticized by others, use it for Dharma practice, the path to enlightenment, the means for bringing happiness, temporal and ultimate, to all sentient beings. By utilizing the experience of the problem in this way, you can keep your mind in the state of happiness. With this thought transformation practice, the best practice of Dharma, one sacrifices one's own life for others in order to obtain their happiness." ~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche

The Akashic Wisdom Keepers have said that some people may actually use negativity to communicate and connect with others, as bizarre as that sounds. It is likened to the child that isn't getting attention from mommy by being good, so they give being "bad" a try. Keep in mind however as I have often said that not every single negative encounter we have is highly karmic, especially if we are dealing with large amounts of people in the general public. A good way to gauge if a situation with someone is karmic is the amount of anger and emotional energy gets directed towards it, and how much it gets "stuck in your craw," as that old saying goes.

It isn't easy to own up to everything that is in our lives; the good, the bad and sometimes the downright scary or ugly, but if we are to be spiritual warriors on a path of awakening, it is the only way. As the polarities of light and dark continue to be played out in the world and sometimes in a big way, personal responsibility for our own "stuff" is the single greatest contribution we can make in the healing of ourselves, our communities and our planet.

"On the journey of the warrior-bodhisattva, the path goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed toward the earth instead of the sky. Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward turbulence and doubt however we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away. If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is. At our own pace, without speed or aggression, we move down and down and down. With us move millions of others, companions in awakening from fear." ~ Pema Chodron

Wishing you all a beautiful & blessed Holiday season,
Rev. Irma Kaye Sawyer/Akashic Wisdom Keepers

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Revelations & Resonance - The Keepers on the New Year, 2012

2012: A universal FIVE (5) year in numerology, which represents CHANGE, BREAKTHROUGHS AND FREEDOM.

Revelation: A surprising and previously unknown fact. The making known of a secret or the unknown.

Resonance: A synchronous gravitational relationship of two celestial bodies (as moons) that orbit a third (as a planet) which can be expressed as a simple ratio of their orbital periods. To be in energetic and vibrational accord.

2011 has been the "Year of Illumination." 2012 is to be the "Year of Revelation and Resonance." It is not so much as "what is hidden" will be revealed as in 2011 year of illumination, as to now what is on the higher octave, what is my truth, what is our truth, what is cosmic truth?

2012 is actually a very *high* point in your timeline. A time of creation, miracles and wonder. A birth into a new realm of being on many levels. The fear attached to it is both a misunderstanding, a fear of the unknown and also a blatant attempt to shift the ground of this powerful emergence. Do not let ignorance and those with an unwholesome agenda steal the riches of this wondrous time. It is yours. You Are That. ~ 11.28.11

There still will be some "musical chairs" as people, places and situations move in and out of your lives, but the scenes are beginning to become more solid and settled. That what is in true *resonance* with you will be materialized in your experience. 2011 was the purification, the walk thru the fire.

FEAR in the general public is still very much an issue due to mis and dis-information that has been disseminated both intentionally and unintentionally. It is not only important to HOLD SPACE of peace, calm and clarity but to communicate this as well in your writings, your work and even down to your daily communications with others.

Depending on how people have been doing the "Walk" of their awakening they will either: have a dramatic awakening to their soul's code and mission or for those who have been receiving information along these areas already will be receiving their next steps to solidify them in their roles as light weavers, teachers, practitioners, etc.

There will be continued formation of light communities of support to help others thru their awakening process. As more and more people realize that the government and bureaucracies in general are not compassionate to their needs, the need for more grass root organizations of support will both manifest and flourish. ~ 11.21.11

Beloveds, there is so much to share with you about the coming year. You are already feeling the spark of excitement in the air. For those that have been working on their soul tasks and missions, more will be continued to be shared with you. Please commend yourselves on the tremendous job of growth and change that you have weathered this year, you have learned "adaptability" in its finest! Though in the outer world you are continuing to see so much falling and outright failing be not disheartened and keep to your tasks at hand. Just as the saying goes that you cannot put old wine in new bottles, some things must be "emptied," in energy, policy and reality as you have come to know it. For those that are new to a path of awakening, more will be given to them as well.

Keep in mind as the saying goes for those who more responsibility is given, more will be expected. This is not to create any sense of pressure in you dear ones, for you always have choice, but to alert you to the importance and accuracy of this divine timing. 2012 is indeed a year to "take your show on the road," wherever that may lead you, even if you never leave your own town. You are here to exemplify the Light, the Teachings and all that has been shared with you. It is important to connect to the concept of "tithing" not just of your income, but also your wisdom, your energy and your time. There are many who have not had the blessing of the Dharma in their lives dear Ones, yet seek the Path. In the coming year of revelation you will not only walk the Path, but become One with it as your Buddha as suggested, as living embodiments of Truth. Prepare your vessels in the coming days and weeks with prayer, contemplation and meditation. You have been emptied of all that no longer serves for a reason, dear ones. It was never to cause you pain or suffering, this is only how the human ego interprets it. There is indeed will be a "speeding up" of time, karma and also love and blessings and this will continue into your 2012. The concept of group mind is being accepted by more beings as a truth and reality. Though we do not advocate being in denial of negativity or misqualified energies in your world, we also know that the power of love, truth and reality is more powerful, and so do you. So how do you create the reality where love prevails? Let it prevail in your own life, without a doubt. For as you do this for yourself, you do for the ONE. Shanti. ~ 12.1.11

Have you ever wondered why many descriptions of the “Ascension” process are not coming to pass as planned? It’s because YOUR higher being is guiding it. What is blessed for someone else could be ill-fitting for you. It is not a “cookie cutter” experience though the end result or goal is the same – rising in light and consciousness to your own Divine Self, as Love Personified. Some years back Archangel Uriel advised you to stop “processing,” and we agree with this wisdom. There can certainly be a place where personal analysis no longer serves you well. Though it may seem counter intuitive to an anxious world to R E L A X, that is exactly what we are advising. As we have shared in earlier messages, you are profoundly loved and dearly cared for. If you had a “mission” for 2012 that would be a worthy one, is to know this truth. Once you experience this reality there will be no going back for you, and you will become an even greater blessing upon the earth. ~ 12.3.11

Beloveds, yes “Resonance” is a powerful word for the New Year and you have been in preparation for this throughout your current year. The areas in which you have found yourself in struggle are where you are called to bring in the healing light of consciousness. You may have found yourself “tested” again and again, but noticing with each experience or event, your reaction has shifted. You have also noticed than when you are in resistance; characterized by the emotions of struggle, hopelessness, anger or fear, the movement of energies can become very still or even stop, until you find a way to “jumpstart” yourself again by shifting your focus. You have learned about creativity on a very personal level. Remember some months back we had shared that you are becoming “magicians?” A magician is one that works with the forces of creation to manifest his/her desires. Those who have worked on their impediments and have aligned with the highest levels of Light available to the planet at this time know that to be in serve to Self, is to be in service to the ALL, as there is no separation. ~ The Keepers, 12.5.11

The Keepers on Fear & 2012: Beloveds, we understand that there has been some misinformation that has spread confusion in your world. In actuality the current year has had the most potential challenges which has been reflected in the Grand Cross alignments over the summer, and also various environmental disasters at various places upon the planet. Though there are many people that are not aware of this, there have been several "extinction level" events predicted for this year that obviously did not occur. We do not need at this time to give an extended discussion on the dis-empowering qualities of fear, but just to say it serves as a distraction at a minor level, and can be utterly disabling at a greater one. In times of great change it is not uncommon to experience anxiety. It is a fear of the unknown and also the strong reconfiguration of energies, as you adapt to a new way of being, both within yourselves and upon the planet.

We often share the message with you that you are deeply loved. We invite you to discover this for yourselves. As you are not only loved, you are also love embodied. Another important factor to discuss is the amount of Light workers, Adult Indigo and other beings with a spiritual mission to fulfill upon the planet. You are awakening to this in varying degrees every day, and many are now moving into their roles as teachers, practitioners and leaders for the Aquarian Age that is now at hand. As many have said before there is an awakening happening on Gaia that is unprecedented and all spiritual support is in alignment for this to unfold. You are also growing and coming into a new understanding of Source and also yourselves as creative beings. What is occurring now is what the masters have referred to as the "Divine Plan," and under no circumstances will it be thwarted. Shanti.~ 11.12.11

The truth of the Divine Human Being, the truth of the new energies, the truth of Mother Earth - it cannot be stopped. ~ Kryon

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Oh, it's YOU again!? - exploring soul recognition.

Hello readers,

We'll we've all had it thrown at us, the concept of the perfect soul mate, someone out of our past that we've been waiting our entire life for. Sounds perfect right? Not so fast there, buckaroo. We've got some rocky territory to explore first.

Indeed, the concept of soul connection is embedded in our culture and this is evident when we look at fairytales and myths, which depict a search for wholeness; this archetype is illustrated by the prince seeking Cinderella or waking the sleeping princess/beauty, the archetypal feminine. These stories may be traced back 5,000 years to the legend of the Egyptian Gods Isis and Osiris.

These male and female deities were brother and sister and husband and wife. Emerging from the womb as twins, they became beloved companions who could not be separated, even by death. When Osiris’ jealous brother, Set, kidnaps and kills him, Isis, his sister, lover, wife, is able to merge with the soul of her husband and conceive a god-child, Horus.

Infuriated by this, Set has his brother’s body cut into 14 pieces. In mourning, Isis journeys through the country "gathering pieces of her husband together and reassembling them until he eventually comes back to life." The Egyptians named her the goddess of fertility and motherhood, and Osiris the god of the dead. Their son, Horus, became known as the god of the sun and sky.

Imagine the power of this love and commitment. Many people long for a sense of soul connection, unity with others, purpose and direction. We seek psychic information about where our right mate, our "soul" mate might be. Surely, we believe, we’ll recognize that person when we meet. The meeting should have such resonance that no doubt will remain. ~ Lorrie Kazan, based on Edgar Cayce's book "Edgar Cayce on Soul Mates."

Whenever I discuss soul recognition with clients, this clip below from John Boorman's 1981 film "Excalibur" vividly comes to mind. If you watch Guinevere's face closely when she first meets Lancelot (at :37-40) her expression says it all. It's a "oh no, it's you again" moment, in a big way. You can sense the love, loss, longing and fear all in her eyes. That's not only some great acting, but this scene really typifies the complexity of these types of soul mate interactions to a T.

(sorry the hyperlink isn't working correctly. Please cut and paste in your browser to view, thanks!)

If you are familiar with the story, you can skip this part. Guinevere is married to Arthur King of the Britons, which of course makes her the Queen. Lancelot is Arthur's champion, in that he is his "best and bravest knight." Guinevere and Lancelot's desire cannot be kept at bay for long, and they both betray their loyalty to Arthur. When Arthur finds them he casts the powerful sword Excalibur back into the earth, and basically all hell breaks loose for awhile. Oh and Guinevere ends up in a convent in the end, figures. :)

I feel this is a powerful case study of soul mates/soul recognition as it illustrates the powerful pull of this attraction and great personal risk and loss of both parties. It goes beyond a morality play of love vs. lust, good vs. evil, but into the heart and pathos of human nature at its core. If you found the love of your life but you were married to someone else, what would you do? When you are in the "love buzz" of one of these type of relationships it's pretty hard to see clearly, let along figure out the karma. You are also most likely having the best sex of your life with this person, which doesn't help in the clarity department either.

Okay, so this is all fine and good so far, Lancelot is a hottie with a heart of gold, but what if you soul mate is more of a Snidely Whiplash or Vampire Lestat character? Oh and I'm really not joking, I survived one of these myself, so I feel I am at liberty to talk about it. It certainly wasn't fun, but it showed me strength in myself that is no longer a mystery to me, so like that Christina Aguilera song, I can actually now say, "Thanks for making me a fighter."

Lassos, daggers & cords oh my!

There are times when people show up from your past with an ax to grind about you, or maybe you have one about them. They are on the brain 24/7 and you find yourself having feisty conversation with them in your head. This isn't a good sign and it also a symptom of psychic attack and/or manipulation. There is a distinct difference between a spiritual tie of love and a psychic cord created out of manipulation, and they definitely feel different. To the inexperienced and uninitiated, it actually can feel good (especially in the beginning,) as there is a joy and elation that can come with feeling so intimately connected to someone. People coming out of long dry spells without a partner or spouse, can be particularly vulnerable to this.

Many of us are familiar with the term "psychic cords" that can be created between two people that experience a trauma, heartbreak or violation of boundaries. What is not so widely seen are the "daggers" that people can actually have lodged in their aura and/or chakras (usually on the back side.) The term "stab your back" can be on a literal level spiritually and it's not pretty. Lassos are another form of cording that can actually look like ropes around a persons mid-section or ankles. Yes, I've seen that over the years too. Well people aren't cattle, but that doesn't stop some people from treating them like they are, not good.

Well IK, what's the point of all of this? Well, thank you for asking. With Pluto going direct in just a few days, we've all gotten a good look this past Summer into our closets (and maybe some other people's too!) It's self-inventory at its finest. If you are still carrying baggage or tiny daggers of anger, resentment and blame around, now's a prime time to drop it. It's important to remember that we've been on both sides of this "control drama" as both victim and persecutor and we've gotten a pretty fine education at this point! This is some of the "victim patterning" that is part of the old 3D paradigm that definitely has to GO. We help this along by being conscious, taking responsibility for our lives and staying in our heart as much as we can. Certainly not all soul mate relationships are negative or based on control dynamics some can be really beautiful; but like the star that burns twice as bright, they often don't go the distance in the end, as that is often not their purpose.

If you feel that you have been "corded" by another individual, it is important to not go into blame or self-criticism. Everything is for our learning and growth, ESPECIALLY powerful soul mate relationships. The Keepers, my guidance team has said about soul makes, that it is wise for us to bless them for all they reveal to us about our own soul, both its shadow and light. Each relationship that comes in our life is a blessing and a boon in this way. Also Soul Mate relationships serve to prepare us for what the Keepers call the "True Mate" relationship that manifests on a higher level of love, trust and soul compatibility, if that is in our karmic path.

No need for desperation
No need for sweet revenge
Please try to remember
The door is always there
Don't you walk on by
The door is always there
All you want to do is kick it in
All you got to do is walk right in.

Who put those tiny daggers
In your heart? ~ M. Hutchence/Tiny Daggers

Wishing you all love & happiness in these potent and magical times.

Irma Kaye Sawyer ~ Akashic Wisdom Keepers/Cosmic Weather

Friday, September 9, 2011

9.11.11 Stargate & the Wisdom Field

Hello friends,
I hope this finds you all well. With high level solar flares and the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 this week, the tension for many is up. Those that identify as Empaths and/or Highly Sensitive People (HSP's) may be feeling this more than ever.

I had a pow wow with the Keepers this morning and was told some things that I feel are pertinent. Firstly, the love/fear polarity is UP right now and with Mercury aspecting both Chiron and Neptune, people will not only be feeling pain, but thinking about it too. I was shown that for some people especially those that are perhaps not as conscious, are attaching their own personal pain and anger in an external "cause" and for now, it is in the form of the 9/11 attacks; a powerful, collective scapegoat.

I am re-sharing here a post that came through today from the Keepers, which I feel covers this thought and offers an antidote.

"Actually the slogan "never forget" plays right into the energy that is being presented for transmutation and healing. What benefit does holding onto victimhood and rage do for anyone? It benefits neither the living nor the dead. A good way to honor those lost in these events is to offer forgiveness and love to all involved. If there is only ONE of you here, the forgiveness you deny others, you also deny yourselves. Be the love that you are. Shanti." ~ The Keepers, 9.9.11

Several sensitives and star channels have noticed the importance of the date 9.11.11 as a "portal" of sorts, and the Keepers have also verified this. With thousands of individuals and groups all over the globe doing transmutational work on 9.11, this is going to have a powerful effect. This is also opening up an energy portal that will be working away on personal and planetary levels between 9.11.11 and 11.11.11. We can choose to ignore this if we wish, but it doesn't change the fact that it is indeed happening. Despite what some other channels have been reporting, there is nothing to fear, except the fear that can be created through panic and misinformation.

I was shown that it really isn't anything that we need to do or a state that we need to acquire; but to relax into our own nature of bodhicitta, our soft spot that let's the world in sh*t and all, and just sits with it and doesn't judge. Some others have called this energy coming an "ascension energy." The Keepers have referred to it as the "Wisdom Field" of the akashic, a field that is beyond labeling, duality and so forth. When I look deeply into it I also see that it is beyond any grasping or clinging that others "get it," which is also very "up" in the collective right now. The Wisdom Field shows us that there is nothing to get, there are only illusions to be dropped. As we become still and connect, we are filled with divine wisdom and grace. And so it is.

Stepping into this magical time with Grace & blessings. Love to you all.

NOTE: Bodhicitta is a mind (including thought, action, feeling and speech) totally dedicated to others and to achieving full enlightenment in order to benefit all sentient beings as fully as possible. Bodhicitta is often called the 'Wish Fulfilling Jewel', because like a magic jewel it brings true happiness.

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Biggest Lightworker Pitfalls & How to Avoid Them.

Hello dear readers,
I'm sure many of you reading this piece are familiar with the term "Lightworker," but for those who are not, here is a definition: A person driven and motivated to do work which makes the world a better place, improves peoples' lives, and/or elevates people to a higher level of consciousness. ~ Wikipedia

Lightworkers are also often skilled in teaching, writing, intuitive development and/or healing and energy work. Other popular terms are "Starseed," which is someone that has soul origin from planets or galaxies not on Earth and also "Indigo Children." Indigos primarily began incarnating here in the late 60's, though there are Indigos throughout history in all age groups. Adult Indigos are also here to create change, transmute negativity (often starting in their own birth families,) and bring healing and light to the planet. For more information about Indigo children and adults, you may do a google search and also check out the work of spiritual teacher and writer Celia Fenn.

I have been involved in the holistic healing, Lightworker and Starseed communities both in-person and online for many years now and have certainly seen my share of the good, the bad and the just plain bizarre. I have also often felt sad, frustrated and disappointed at times too. I am hoping that with any great movement of consciousness and change there will need to be "baby steps" taken in the beginning. I offer a guideline here of sorts, to help keep us all together and on track.

These are some of the primary pitfalls I have seen out there and they seem to have gathered steam starting last year. I am hoping that through love, patience with each other and awareness we can overcome these hurdles and create a unifed force of love, light and healing for the planet and ourselves.

1) The Lightworker & Adult Indigo "chip on your shoulder" club and support group:

Many Adult Indigos had a rough go with their family of origin. For the Pluto in Virgo generation (those that are in their early to late 40's now,) part of our generational karma is healing family "stuff" and wounding around being "not good enough." Many of us took on the shame, sexism and abuse that was handed down through our ancestry and it was painful and debilitating indeed. It is our responsibility to find a way to heal this, transmute it and get past it once and for all. This is the commitment we made before our incarnation to Source/Spirit, the planet and ourselves. While it is healing and beneficial to connect with others of our kind so to speak, we must be careful that we don't turn it into a pity party or do what the great Caroline Myss calls "Leading with our wound." For Lightworkers even if they do not identify as Indigos had to contend with being labeled a "freak" and/or a "wierdo" for most of their lives, which can also be deeply painful and create a fundamental distrust of the world and of most of the people in it. It is tempting to crawl into a safe little shell and trust no one, but like Indigos, Lightworkers also have a job to do, and in most cases it involves other people. To hide away from life and our true emotions keeps us stuck in our woundedness, in a shell of denial that may feel safe, but in reality there are other dangers to deal with there that can cause further harm.

2) Making it a "religion," with exclusivity and judgment:

Many Light workers, Indigos and the like have a deep-seated dislike or even an hatred of organized religion, and for good reason. Some of these souls may have even had religion forced on them as children; or even had to survive what could be called "religious abuse," involving fear, manipulation and coercion. Surprisingly I have seen a lot of behavior in the spiritual and New Age communities that resembles religion in many ways. For one, the "Us vs. Them" mentality that is so prevalent in many of the world's religions and has certainly caused much damage for thousands of years of our history and also the "our way is the ONLY way" type of thing. One explanation for this is that religion for many of us has been part of our conditioning and a type of default setting, and that we need to become of aware of any behavior that is exclusionary of ANY people, for any reason. We are entering into the powerful "Ninth Wave" of the Mayan Calendar which signifies "Unity Consciousness." It is time for any divisions based on belief systems to fall away, and never return. It makes the little ego feel good to be part of anything that feels "special" and not ordinary, but it is the ordinary, non-sexy things that we do every day that make up the reality of our lives. We always need to remember that we are in this boat together, and as Sting so aptly wrote, "We can all sink, or we'll all float."

3) Ego based judgment and in-fighting.

I actually saw a post some months ago by someone that is a prominent teacher and leader in the Starseed community. She quite vocally and aggressively called everyone out as a bunch of "new age wimps" and chided them for their passivity. Many of the people in the group identified as Empathic and/or Highly Sensitive People and were greatly disturbed by her message. I personally found it offensive and totally off-the-mark. Who are we to judge the path or karma of another? Needless to say I quietly removed myself from that group. I can understand that person's opinion and even their frustration, but also we need to remember that we are part of a great WHOLE and also trust that the Universe is intelligent and knows what its doing. Second guessing is not productive, and can even make us miss our mark spiritually.

The younger Indigo and Crystal folks at times have a more in-your-face approach and this is also reflected in their astrology. For many of them their mission involves tearing down old societal structures that are no longer working; especially in the areas of education and the environment. It becomes harmful when these folks have a lack of discipline and turn their energies against those of their own kind or just people in general. Healthy exchange of ideas and spiritual discourse is beneficial, ego-based attacks and fighting are not. Ego is very subtle and will use anything and everything to attain its ends, including spirituality. I feel the antidote for this is a regular and grounded spiritual practice that includes meditation and mind-training. If we do not have any idea how our own minds work, then we are susceptible to its distortions and illusions. As the great Lama Yeshe would say, we really need to "Check up!" on this.

I welcome your thoughts on this subject dear readers. I'm sure this subject will be continued in the future.

Wishing you all the brightest of blessings.

Irma Kaye Sawyer
Bright Star Blog

Friday, May 6, 2011

Healing the Mother Wound - once and for all.

"She said the wound would give him pain, the kind of pain that you can't hide. From this wound a lovely flower grew, somewhere deep inside. ~ Sting/The Lazarus Heart

On this Mother's Day weekend, I thought it would be a good time to share some thoughts about our moms. I had the profound realization yesterday that I had achieved my goal about my own mom, and my wish had come true. Needless to say, it was quite an emotional moment. The point being, that I truly love my mother and when she is gone I will genuinely miss her. She has become a friend to me and I cherish the relationship. It certainly wasn't always this way...

To make a very long story short, let's just say for many years I didn't like my mother that much, even though part of me always loved her. There were times were I downright hated her and harbored much resentment towards her too. I know I'm certainly not the only one who has felt such things!

My father died when I was very young and I was often left in the care of my Godparents, who while they were wonderful didn't take the place of my mom and the relationship that I always felt I was missing. For years I learned to think that I must have been defective in some way, for my own mother to have rejected me in such a way. As a kid I as confused about this. Perhaps I possessed some deep, fundamental flaw that only she could see? It was deeply and profoundly painful. As a teenager I was exposed to some very unhealthy situations where abuse took place. In my 20's I was still trying to win her love and found myself throwing myself into sexual relationships with men trying to feel okay about myself but of course, that didn't work out very well and ending causing even more damage.

I've learned in my adult years as a spiritual counselor that our relationship with our parents can mirror our relationship to our concept of God/dess. To me for at that time I felt God/dess must have rejected me too, since my own mother did. It created an existential crisis of epic proportion that took me decades to work out. It colored all of my relationships, jobs and pretty much my entire view of the world. How could I have been forsaken like this? For years I was so angry and hurt. Though I was still often the life of the party and made every one laugh, I felt like I was dying inside, by the drop, a little more every day. I didn't know what I could ever do to make the pain go away. I would have been content just to have it hurt a little bit less; but it never did, not for a long time.

In my late 20's I started out on a spiritual quest though I didn't know it at the time. I decided to become an energy worker and massage therapist. Little did I know I would have to work out my own "stuff" along the way, and work it I most certainly did! The Universe in its wise beneficence put some amazing teachers and mentors in my path over the years. Just when I thought I was feeling better and was stronger about my relationship with my mother, another layer would appear. How long could this go on? Would I EVER be finished? It just seemed so exhausting, and depressing too.

One wise Buddhist teacher spoke of using the taking the manure of our lives and growing a lovely tomato garden out of it! I remember I laughed when I heard that, little did I know that's exactly what I was in the process of doing. It just took 25 years to do, that's all. That garden is looking pretty great today I tell ya, and those tomatoes are the sweetest ones you'll ever eat.

The Mother wound for those who have one, is one of the deepest pains one can ever experience. For those that were gifted with good, healthy relationships with their mother, they simply can't relate and that's okay. They also were not given the wisdom and gifts that are given from taking that particular journey of healing. It's a give and take.

If you had a mother that was hurtful or less than loving, I am sorry. I completely get it. On this Mother's Day and any day, you can take your power back and rejoice in the wonderful, unique being that YOU are. If you can find any good qualities about your mother take them in fully and make them yours, and just let the rest of it go. Even if she can't see you and the glory you will or have become, she will know it. She is still your mother, wherever she is. If the roles were reversed, perhaps you wouldn't have made her mistakes 'tis true, but you very likely could have made other ones. We are all here just doing our best, trying to make our way through. I know longer need to know or understand why she made those fateful decisions for my life, I just know I don't have to keep being hurt by them. Letting go of figuring it all out was a big step for me. I was always trying to "tie it off" somehow, thinking if I knew her motivations it would help, but that is certainly a big trap we can fall into also. It always keeps the peace at bay, and keeps us striving for something that maybe we can never achieve. We can certainly achieve peace NOW, and we do that by letting go. Also, she may have dished it out then but now you are responsible for your own pain and reactions now. It's tempting to blame it all on our mommies, daddies or whoever, but that only gives us false and temporary satisfaction. I was told by Guidance that "vindication is the realization that you no longer need to be vindicated, because you have let it GO."

One of the most damaging things that can come from a dysfunctional mother relationship is the fear of love. If you have learned to block love in your life in any way, shape or form, my hope and prayer for you is that Divine Mother fill your heart so completely that any and all barriers to love dissolve into light. Our Divine Mother has never abandoned us. It is only mind and our own mis-perceptions that try to convince us otherwise.

Happy Mother's Day.

~ Rev. Irma Kaye Sawyer/Bright Star Blog