Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Could "Haters" be a blessing in disguise?

Hello dear readers,
I hope this finds you well. The word "hater" has become popular slang lately and denotes anyone that doesn't like you, is nasty to you and/or generally makes your life miserable! Most of us have experienced them at one point or another.

The Keepers had this to say on the topic today: Beloveds, on the topic of those that would be called "haters," in your lives we say this: indeed these people are confused as they are mistaking you for the negative emotions that they feel in your presence and may project them onto you. Many of you have what would be considered "catalytic" energies and can effect others in strong ways. Encounters of this nature can remain relatively neutral if you can remain in a strong center and not take others negativity and projections to heart. In all encounters it is wise to have the awareness of what the potential teaching is in it for you. What is going on with the other party is truly none of your business, at the most basic level. Indeed it is not likely that everyone will like you in your lifetime, but you can be a friend to all in a spirit of brother/sisterhood. ~ 2/16/11

This teaching really does hit so many levels doesn't it? We have been well-socialized and taught that it is highly desirable to be well-liked by everyone and to have enemies truly must be bad.

I have found in my own career my harshest critics and those that could even be called haters have taught me so much. In many cases, they have shown me the areas where I lacked clarity in my business and in my life and this caused me to get more focused and to do some serious analysis of areas where I needed to stronger and more integrated. Of course these types of interactions are often painful and never fun, but if we keep in mind that the person hating HAS been impacted by us even if it is negative in their eyes. We are acting as catalysts for change, even if that person (or us!)cannot see it yet. Haters are also bringing us a great gift of where our ego still is getting stuck. I always loved this great quote by Swamiji,"Just because some one calls you a donkey doesn't that mean you are one!" It is also another good opportunity to "check up" on the little hurts and false conceptions of ourselves that we are still holding onto.

It is important to stay out of a victim role or fall into a "pity party" if we find ourselves in encounters with negative or critical people. Also to remember that not every encounter is some high teaching for us. There are some people that will cross our path that are simply mean and looking for a fight. In ALL cases, it is important to not take attacks personally, even if they are meant to be. This is one of the best protective measures that we can take.

I have a hater in my own life of the most painful kind, my own sister. I still love her of course, but we have cut off all contact which was her choice initially, but now I have grown to see is for the best. Sadly, my sister is locked into an outdated view of me and us as children and is holding onto the ghost of past hurts, some of which are even imaginary. She has also shown scorn towards our mother, which has also been painful to witness. Through this separation from my sister, my mother has become much more emotionally resilient and even sought out psychotherapy which she stared at age 75. She has emerged a much more conscious and loving person in the process. If it weren't for my sisters painful "divorce" from my mother, I honestly believe there would have been no impetus for her to take that journey of healing and self-discovery. It has been amazing to see how my mother's spirit has flowered and how much more available to me and to others she has become. Our relationship is the best it has ever been.

My sister though she is definitely a hater, has gifted my mother with so many gifts of awareness and growth. I just realized that very recently. I haven't entirely figured out the gift of her being a hater in my own life, but I'm sure I will in time. Life is indeed such a gift and the possibilities for growth are endless.

Wishing you all many blessings in these transformational times.

2 comments:

  1. Wonderful post Irma! It sounds so simple and is so true, yet it's an easy trap to get caught in. We all love to be liked, but is it worth the sacrifice you'd make by being someone else in order to be liked? And even then it wouldn't work, because there would be those that didn't like you because you were too eager to please. Being disliked happens and should happen, but when we're authentically ourselves, we get the benefit too, and isn't it wonderful to know that despite the haters, someone likes you for being exactly who you are?

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  2. Yes it is a wonderful thing! Thank you so much for the comment Brent and for being in my world.

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